The thought of being alone for many people is a very strange concept. Many of us live with our families throughout our childhood only to move to a different home with roommates or a significant other. Others will hop between romantic partners their whole lives in an effort to find lifelong companionship and escape the underlying fear of loneliness. As someone who has been extremely independent throughout their whole life with little romantic stability, I found that I avoid this feeling through other means. For the majority of my life, I have continuously bombarded myself with distractions whether that be through work, studies, or socializing. God forbid I allow myself to be alone with my own thoughts on a Saturday night when I can be drowning myself in brain-numbing substances while in a room full of strangers. A prior employer of mine once told me “Fear the man that is unable to be left alone with his thoughts”. He was inferring that the busy lifestyle I try so hard to maintain may be a facade for deeper unresolved issues. Was I simply making the most of my time, or was I ignoring and dismissing unprocessed emotional affliction? By doing so I spare myself the unpleasantries of confronting the discomfort of healing, however, prolonging this confrontation only escalates emotional internalization and denial. It is not an uncommon human experience to incorrectly process our emotions and reflect in a productive manner which facilitates personal growth. 

After moving away from family, friends, a job, and my studies I have experienced a degree of seclusion which has only been elevated by the language barrier that is preventing me from communicating with others. Despite the common misconception that travel is the ultimate distraction and escape from ones problem’s, I have found myself with an exuberant amount of time to reflect. In a city as large as Paris I cannot help but feel extremely small and insignificant. My trial and tribulations that I perceived as important at home, now feel extremely minuscule. I can analyze and deconstruct everything that I have been suppressing from a neutral and removed position. I have the time to ask myself questions about why I respond to certain circumstances in the manner that I do and healthily process my thoughts and emotions deeply.

There is an inescapable concept that the only person you will truly ever be with through every phase of life and experience is yourself. Therefore, it is highly important to be able to appropriately manage your mental equilibrium. This allows you to truly live a fulfilling life, that is not dependent on external circumstances that you may or may not be able to control. This creates an internal sanctuary that is more equipped to combat adversity regardless of who is in your life or your environmental circumstances. I am not in any way saying that you need to quit your job and move across the world (preferably a place with great croissants) to teach yourself the art of being alone. However, I think it is extremely healthy and beneficial to ensure at least a portion of your day is spent alone. Whether it is on your morning run, during meditation, or getting dinner alone. 

So go take yourself on a date and soak up all the uncomfortability you can, because in 2023 we are dedicated to making our minds hot!

Much Love,

Daniela’s Movie